Dreams, Determination, and Some Thoughts on Bull Wrestling

Well, it's becoming reality.  I know this from the presence of clothing and other miscellaneous objects lying in unorganized heaps all over my living room floor.  Oddly enough, there are 2 open suitcases centrally located on said floor, but an invisible barrier of some sort is preventing the heaps from going in.  My guess? -cold feet.  It's one thing to say, "just take the bull by the horns and wrestle him to the ground," but the conviction in adhering to such an approach, in my mind, is directly related to the 'size of the bull.'

"Chicken on a Chain"

Meet "Chicken on a Chain."  He and I are old friends -as a matter of fact, he and I have squared off for as long as I can remember.  He typically shows up when I have come up with a grand idea, and then proceeds to hang around until I become painfully aware of my own limitations as a human being.  The strange thing about our relationship is that the sequential pattern never seems to change; I get an idea, he shows up, I grab his horns, and the wrestling match begins.  But I'm getting ahead of myself -we'll get back to 'Chicken' in a minute.

Healthy dreams, I believe, are necessary nutrients for our minds.  They allow us to envision things in our world as we'd like them to be, and even if our world can't be as such, they then offer us a haven for temporary retreat.  My ideas and dreams have always been, and still are, powerful motivators for me.  Trying to bring my brilliant ideas into real life scenarios just always seemed like a natural progression, regardless of how grandiose, unrealistic, difficult, or 'out-of-my-league' the specific dream seemed to be.  When someone coined the phrase "dare to dream," I'm sort of thinking that a qualifier should have been added in my case.

Anyway, I soon learned that if I was seriously going to flirt with turning my grandiose, unrealistic, difficult, and 'out-of-my-league' dreams into reality, I would need to possess no small amount of determination -and, if I am to be truthful, I also must admit that it would have been highly beneficial at times if my determination had been accompanied by a plan -this latter element has always eluded me, and I have paid dearly at times for not having implemented a plan into my endeavors.  I have, instead, enthusiastically just grabbed the bull by the horns, and then tried to figure out what to do from that point on -(note: refer to above photo and ask yourself, "even with a plan, who is more likely to get dragged through the mud?").

So, it is not altogether surprising that the suitcases remain open and annoyingly empty.  This time, however, I have prepared myself as best I can  -arming myself with 2 and a half years of studies, numerous conferences, and a wonderful group of supportive friends.  I am entering a facility, whose staff could not possibly be more welcoming, and whose location is as lovely as a quintessential Swedish mid-summer's day.  Beside my suitcases stand a stack of books ready to accompany me on my journey -trusted words from mentors, such as Karen Pryor, Ken Ramirez, Bettina Hvidemose, Kathy Sdao, and Bob Bailey -they're all going with me, in spirit.

Chicken on a Chain and I leave on Monday.  He and I will most certainly face off again -we're both too set in our ways to forgo the wrestling match, but this time, I think my feet will stand a little firmer -for I somehow feel quite certain that whatever else I need to know in this profession, the animals themselves will now teach.